Thinking about travelling to Canada? Stop right there. Thank God we caught you just in time! You’re one of the lucky ones. Before you make any hasty decisions, you should really consider these 12 well thought-out reasons NOT to go. But if crowd-surfing, partying at festivals, eating some of the best food, drinking at cool bars, paragliding over spectacular views and soaking up sunshine are your thing then sure, go for it!
Prepare yourself Canada isn’t great…

1. CANADA IS ALWAYS COLD. ALWAYS.

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I bet you’re shivering at the thought of being on this gorgeous beach at Parlee Provincial Park, home to some of the warmest salt water found in Canada. Brrr!

2. LIKE FREEZING.

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Located on Vancouver’s North Shore, approx 40 mins from downtown Vancouver is Lions Bay,we feel cold just looking at this gloriously sunny day.

3. IT’S A RUBBISH PLACE FOR ROAD TRIPS.

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Road trippin’ through the picturesque Alberta where there are only in excess of 600 lakes to explore – I’m sorry but that is just NOT enough pristine turquoise lakes for anyone. Why is everything SO beautiful? It’s enough to make your eyes hurt!

4. CROWD SURFING IS CONSIDERED NORMAL BEHAVIOUR.

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This is not normal. Festival d’été de Québec should not encourage this sort of ridiculous behaviour. YES it may be great fun, you may have the time of your life – but who wants to have fun these days?

 5. THERE’S NOWHERE GOOD TO SKI

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Come on, anyone could do that! Alberta looks like a rubbish place to go skiing. The snow is definitely not powdery enough…

6. THEIR SNOWBOARDING FESTIVALS ARE PRETTY QUIET.

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Shame nobody turned up to the World Ski and Snowboard Festival in Whistler – North America’s largest annual celebration of snow sports, music, arts & mountain culture. Real shame, considering it’s listed as one of the Top 20 events in Canada.

7.THERE’S NOWHERE GOOD TO GO FOR BRUNCH.

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Yuck those freshly baked pastries look gross *mouth salivating*, I’m never going to Mallard Cottage in Newfoundland. And apparently their coffee is ‘delicious’, but who likes coffee anyway?

8. THERE’S NEVER ANYTHING TO DO.

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If only you could go kayaking around Golden in British Columbia – it’s probably because the view isn’t worth it. Like, look at those amazing colours and the backdrop of the mountains! Oh and definitely DON’T even think about heading to Silver Springs in Fernie, BC for some Cliff jumping. It is possibly the most boring* thing you could ever think of doing.

*replace word boring with exhilarating.

9. EVEN THE STREETS LOOK BORING.

What a dull looking street in Toronto. I wonder why they call it Graffiti Alley. And if the streets don’t put you to sleep, the cities infamous skyline sure will!

10. THE FOOD IS AVERAGE.

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Take this freshly caught lobster dinner at The Palm in Nova Scotia it’s the most average looking meal I’ve ever seen. And I am guessing you don’t have a sweet tooth? So you will have no interest in the fact that Canada is famous for putting their delicious maple syrup on… EVERYTHING.

11. THE NIGHTLIFE IS JUST THE WORST.

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Canadians love a quiet night in. They never spend the night partying away to Major Lazer at Osheaga festival. No that’s a little bit too loud for them. Oh wait…

12. IT’S A REALLY STRESSFUL PLACE TO LIVE.

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Swimming in the falls of Strathcona Provincial Park in British Columbia is probably the WORST way to spend a day. How stressful. I never want to go. *simultaneously booking fights*.

 

See! It’s absolutely dreadful. Thank goodness you read this blog before you did anything hasty. But if for some crazy reason you are still tempted, we’re just going to leave this here.